Okay. This is not a psychic outburst like most other of my blog entries. It is some sincere confessions. I don't want anyone to read this, I just didn't want to write it on a piece of paper and throw it away, coz I thought I would love reading this 20 years down the lane, if I am stile alive and kicking.
Tension is in my blood. It comes from my mom and dad. I try hard to not be tensed. I guess the solution I learnt is to stop thinking.
I avoid emotions, because I can get too emotional. I try my level best to control them though. And still know that when it comes to certain things, I am not able to. I'll conquer them all, in due time. I have to.
I doubt myself a lot.
I am very vulnerable. I take too much into consideration, and I expect too much from too many places.
I follow some confused rationality.
I can feel my morals, ethics changing. All that I thought was good about me is now changed. And I think the changes are what made me good. And I still think all I thought earlier was good.
I want to be free. And I want love too, I can't give it up. I am stuck.
Maybe I will get better if I settle. Maybe I'll get worse.
